Thursday, September 16, 2010

Not all glitz, glam and glee

My next post was going to be about my hair trial, but I wanted to stop a moment and reflect…which I do every day, multiple times a day, but never blog much about. I’m a real person with an imperfect life.

Once engaged, many girls, including myself, get very overwhelmed with planning…we obsess over our wedding day makeup, the style shoe we’ll wear…the species of flowers that our bouquets will be composed of…finding THE dress and bridesmaids dresses to go with it…and keeping up with the latest wedding magazine publications and blogs to cram in every last amazing idea before our chance to plan a wedding is O-V-E-R.

Aside from the “pretty” stuff, I’ve got some “ugly” stuff on my plate…the stuff brides likely don’t want to talk about because they want to paint a picture that their lives are perfect.

My parents are divorced. They have been since I was 9 or 10? I’m 25 now. That’s 15-16 years…of dealing with 2 sides…that’s now more than half my life. My mother has not been a prevalent figure in my life since roughly the same time. I grew up with my dad and grandmothers raising my siblings and I. My father strongly dislikes my mother and will not communicate with her.

My 90-year-old great-grandmother ReRe, who was my “pal”, that taught me how to play rummy and poker at a young age, that loved the Red Sox and Mo Vaughn, and said the rosary every day twice a day, has advanced Alzheimer’s…I can only show her my ring and she’ll say it’s beautiful because she’s always loved jewelry…but she doesn’t understand that her oldest great-granddaughter is getting married and it’s just so sad. I wish more than anything that she could be there.

Mr. K5 and I are trying to buy a house…and short sales are not short..they are long, drawn out ridiculous processes that suck the life out of you…all you want to do is move in together and have a place of our own, and host game nights, and dinners, and get a kitten and name it something adorable….and these banks stand in our way. It’s been almost 4 months since we put in our offer.

I’m not complaining. I’m just saying that just because there is a diamond ring on my finger and I’m planning my wedding, it doesn’t mean it’s been 100% glitz, glam and glee. Getting married is a big thing. It means having to face these types of issues, whatever they may be, and deal with them…not push them to the side. Because once the wedding is over, life comes at you. And my fiance is the only one I want to walk beside me through this life.


...and in the words of a wise, older cousin “stop trying to please everyone, or you’ll be bitter by the time you’re 40” :-)


jacin said...

i hear ya sister. we all go through those days. i almost had a meltdown in CVS today, for the love of god, haha. just know you're not alone!

Moni said...

This was a very heartfelt post Kristina. I know family dynamics can complicate and cause a great deal of stress. I can definitely relate. We are recent home owners planning a wedding on a shoe string budget. And while my father has been absent for most of life, he likes to just show up uninvited to spite my mother. Despite this fear, it is comforting knowing that there is someone who will be there to make sure everything will be alright. I think you will be more than "alright" missy.

btw, I am sure granny will enjoy your wedding video.

Jessica said...

I hear ya lady. There are some very rough days in life and marriage but it's all what you make of it. It's after those reflective moments that I, personally realize that I have it pretty good. We have food, a place to sleep, steady jobs, a good marriage and a beautiful happy boy. Most of all, I'm with you. There's no one else I'd rather go through life with than my husband.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there girl! I haven't shot you an email lately as everything is literally happening at once for me with school, work, wedding and Nick's interviews. Stressful, but life just keeps moving forward, right? You're handling things beautifully and have an awesome partner to tackle all of these lovely things with!